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R. Kelly and Michael Cohen are spending their first Christmas behind bars, and they’re about to find out what Suge Knight and Billy McFarland already know — time to pig out unless you’re Bill Cosby.
Prisons across the country are feeling the Christmas spirit, and they’re stocking commissaries with special holiday treats, and allowing inmates to spend a little extra on sweets. Rejoice!!!
We did some digging and found out what some of America’s most famous convicts will be fattening up on before their New Year’s resolutions … here’s a breakdown of their options:
Kelly at MCC Chicago:
— The spending limit for commissary increases by $50 in December to a cool $410, and Kelly can snack on holiday cookies, pound cake, jalapeno cheese and chocolate bars.
Cohen at New York’s FCI Otisville:
— President Trump‘s former personal attorney can also spend $410 at commissary this month after a $50 bump, and he can nosh on holiday cakes, chocolate and caramel clusters, assorted chocolates and an olive salad.
Suge at San Diego’s Richard J. Donovan Correctional Facility:
— No change to the money available, but Suge can fill his belly with chocolate caramel Santas and peppermint bark, and splurge on Christmas cards for his loved ones.
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McFarland at Ohio’s FCI Elkton:
— Billy’s second December behind bars comes with a $50 increase to his commissary spending limit, bringing it to $340 … and he can chow down on smoked oysters, chocolate covered pretzels, mint crème cookies, peanut log, hazelnut single serve creamer packs and white queso dip.
Sounds a helluva lot better than the awful Fyre Festival spread.
Cosby at Pennsylvania’s SCI Phoenix:
— Bill’s basically getting coal in his commissary stocking because his canteen ain’t adding a darn thing for the holidays. That’s okay though, remember he’s on a health kick in prison.