Madonna delivers bizarre coronavirus monologue while soaking naked in a bath surrounded by rose petals

LGBTQ

Madonna delivered a soapy speech about the coronavirus from a petal-strewn bathtub, because obviously. (Instagram/Madonna)

Madonna, the gay icon and sometimes popstar, has created quite the splash with a candlelit, petal-strewn video about the coronavirus.

In her soapy sermon, Madonna gets real about what she sees as both a terrible and wonderful thing about the coronavirus: “It’s the great equaliser.”

Contradicting earlier Queen Madge wisdom, which advised us that everyone must stand alone, the British singer said that the deadly pandemic has made us all equal.

“That’s the thing about COVID-19 – it doesn’t care about how rich you are, how famous you are, how funny you are, how smart you are, where you live, how old you are, what amazing stories you can tell,” Madonna said.

Made all the more relatable by the fact that she sent us this message while soaking naked in a bath, surrounded by candles and floating rose petals, the 61-year-old Libran continued to talk about The Great Equaliser.

“It’s the great equaliser. And what’s terrible about it is what’s great about it. What’s terrible about it is it’s made us all equal in many ways,” said the Madame X singer, who is worth a cool $850m.

“And what’s wonderful about it is it’s made us all equal in many ways.”

Truly, this message – posted to Twitter and Instagram yesterday – is the cue we needed to implement much stricter social-distancing measures.

While much of the online reaction has, boringly, been predictably sexist and ageist, the update on how Madonna is coping with coronavirus has perhaps shown that we are all losing the plot at an equal rate.

She’s not the only celebrity to share her coronavirus-related feelings: Sam Smith last week revealed that they, too, are going through a “quarantine meltdown“.

And, as people are pointing out, it is just a month since Caroline Flack died by suicide and the internet was flooded with reminders to #BeKind.

As Madonna said at the end of her video: “Like I used to say at the end of ‘Human Nature’ every night: ‘We’re all in the same boat.’

“If this ship goes down, we’re all going down together.”

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