Spartacus: House of Ashur Season 1 Episode 5 Review: Achilia’s Much-Anticipated Gladiatorial Debut Arrives

Critic’s Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

4.7

Can I just say that I hate this show?

I hate it for making me care about a rapist and murderer. There is no reason for me to pity Ashur after an even worse character debuts.

His mistreatment at the hands of Caesar and Cornelia in Spartacus: House of Ashur Season 1 Episode 5 “Goddess of Death,” should be giving me joy. Yet, I can’t wait for Ashur to get his vengeance eventually.

But first, the much-awaited episode arrives. Everything has been building towards this. Events in the Ludi Apollinare will make or break the House of Ashur as Achilia is unveiled to the masses with mixed reception.

Everything can be broken into two parts: the party and the games. While both are enthralling in equal measure, it would have benefited the episode to be split into installments, each addressing a different theme.

Achilia’s fight is a spectacle to behold that had me jumping on the couch like a hyperactive kid, but it felt like it could have been grander.

Still, the party more than makes up for this slight disappointment as every prominent personality — and there are a lot of them in this show — is trapped in one house with nowhere to run, and fangs come out.

Revelations, Reads, Tensions, and Sex

I have a particular fascination with bottle episodes. The ability to pull off a narrative in one setting forever remains a winning formula, especially after setting up conflicts for the past five episodes.

As Caesar colonizes Ashur’s house, he takes it upon himself to bring the best of Rome under one roof for an unforgettable night — and a memorable night it is.

As one would expect, there is sex, food, and music, but the most delicious servings take place between the characters.

Words that had been said in passing finally get screamed face to face, hate is displayed in public, and desire cannot be hidden.

It’s a powder-keg situation that explodes and leaves me entertained.

Ashur was right: fuck the gods. It is revealed that what seemed like a mere coincidence in Spartacus: House of Ashur Season 1 Episode 4, “Blood and Bone,” was far from it.

The gods had not smiled on him when he saved Cossutia and her mother from the Cilicians — it was a ploy by Caesar, Crassus, and Opiter. This ploy claimed a life and could have claimed more if things had turned out differently.

I mean, there is genuinely nothing these people won’t do to each other to feel superior. They will lie, cheat, kill, rape, and manipulate to get what they want.

This plot, if discovered, will end some relationships that some people are working too hard to keep strong. It won’t take much for Korris to dump Opiter if he learns the latter was part of a plot that nearly saw him die.

Meanwhile, another relationship takes a hit as Hilara finally meets Ashur’s new love interest. The chemistry between Viridia and Ashur is off the charts, so off the charts that Messia can see it from across the room.

Who else can make Ashur smile like a teen girl who’s gotten a love message from her boyfriend promising her the world?

I pity Hilara because she’s just a woman trying to make the best of a situation she found herself in, but this is embarrassing, girl. If a man doesn’t want you, he doesn’t. It doesn’t matter how useful you make yourself to him.

The party allows personalities to clash, and I have never heard so many reads in one episode, except on RuPaul’s Drag Race. The Brothers Ferox will forever remain my favorites, but Achilia, Cossutia, Ashur, and Caesar know how to put everyone in their place with one sentence.

It’s a glorious night that sets a lot in motion, including the Ludi Apollinare.

Rome Meets the Goddess of Death

Ashur does his best to hype up his new spectacle, but everyone seems to think he’s crazy.

Well, joke’s on them because people who have made the most significant change in the world are usually thought to be crazy.

However, I can’t lie because if that were me in Achilia’s shoes, my feelings would be hurt a little — probably a lot.

I mean, this woman cannot catch a break — not in her past, the Ludus, at a party, or in the arena.

This fight is what we’ve been waiting for, and, honestly, I feel slighted. I’m not a fan of shows that create expectations and then wiggle out of the obligation for whatever reason.

However much I’m fond of the Brothers Ferox’s fierceness of sword and tongue, I was ready to see them face off with Achilia in the arena. They are evenly matched opponents.

Yet, the episode pulls a trick and delivers another opponent who, despite being massive, does not match the brothers.

The fight is rousing as ever as Achilia fights for her life for the umpteenth time. She has survived a lot before, so she survives this, too. She uses the speed and agility her body and build give her to take down a bigger, stronger man.

It’s like a David versus Goliath situation.

The cliffhanger leaves her fighting for her mortal life once again after having a hand spliced into two. Will she survive? Even if she does, how does her career as a gladiator look? Hopefully, she heals well enough to hold a sword.

Meanwhile, something is brewing in Rome’s halls of power.

Caesar experiences these games with one foot out the door because he has been called upon by Marcus, which leads me to believe they are hiding something.

The Rebellion Theory: Episode 5

Okay, so the Cilician rebellion theory is out the window now that we know who sent them, but I’m not giving up yet. There is a secret that Caesar wants to remain that way.

What if the rebellion has already started somewhere else, and these parts are yet to get the word? Is that where Crassus has been held up all this time? What if the House of Ashur is liberated from the shackles of slavery, like Spartacus did many other houses? We shall see.

Gut Check

“Goddess of Death” hits all the right notes, even if most of the runtime is spent on Caesar and wife’s antics, including the bitching, abusing, and partying.

I needed more from this fight, and while I’m glad we will see the Brothers Ferox again, I feel cheated. They’d better make this worth my time because, at the risk of sounding like a broken record, I do not like being lied to by a TV show.

Offbeat Observations

• Caesar has such an unconventional vibe, like he’s from the 21st century. That dirty blonde hair makes him look like he spends his days surfing in Santa Monica.

• Never expected to see Achilia have sex with another gladiator, and I’m not sure how I feel about that. It’s like coworkers hooking up: I don’t like it.

• Tarchon is starting to annoy me. Sure, he has nice pecs, but if he listened to what everyone is telling him, he would make a great gladiator. But will the stupidity of youth let him? He nearly got himself and his father killed.

• This show’s transitions can give you such thrilling whiplash. In one moment, someone is climaxing during sex, and in the next, another character is getting gutted like a pig.

• One of the best things about Achilia’s fight is that the Brothers Ferox did not see it. Hearing them fuming was as satisfying as watching them get their asses handed to them.

Over to you, Spartacus: House of Ashur fanatics. What do you anticipate happening to Achilia now? Will she recover from this injury? Do you think that something is happening in Rome that we’re not aware of?

Hit the comments section with your theories.

Let’s keep the conversation going — it’s the only way the good stuff survives.

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